As a queer elopement photographer who specializes in cozy yet adventurous elopements for the LGBTQIA+ community, I am reminded every day of how much love, hope, and joy exist in the world—even during times like these that feel a bit scary for us.
I may be a bit biased, but I think eloping is the coolest way to tie the knot with the person you love. It lets you be you and make unforgettable, unique memories that may have once been just a dream. With that, I wanted to create a comprehensive guide for queer couples specifically. I’ll take things step-by-step and provide considerations for the current political climate we, unfortunately, have to live in today.
Note: If you want to learn how to elope, but don’t need a super LGBTQ+-specific guide, check out my other article, How to Elope: The Ultimate Guide.
When you type “what is eloping” into your search engine, the first thing that might come up is something along the lines of “running away secretly to get married.” While that was the traditional understanding of elopement, the definition is changing now.
With more and more couples choosing to elope, you might be a little bit confused about what it actually means—did they do it secretly? Did they run away? Did they have a ceremony?
The truth? There isn’t an all-encompassing definition of elopement because it can vary from situation to situation. You can really make it whatever you want it to be! At its core, eloping is usually about celebrating your love in a way that is a genuine reflection of your unique love story and identity. It gives you an opportunity to skip the stress and traditions that often come with big weddings and focus instead on what you care about: Your love and commitment.
So, it might mean that a couple decides to keep their elopement a secret, or it might mean they have a small ceremony with two or three of their closest friends. Generally speaking:
Elopements are more intimate than weddings, with fewer than 30 people at the ceremony or no guests at all. It’s the union (legal or symbolic) and celebration of love between people using alternative practices to traditional weddings. This can include exchanging vows on the top of a mountain, by the beach, in the comfort of your own home, at a courthouse, or anywhere else you can dream of.
To break things down further, there are different types of elopements to choose from (note: since an elopement can be whatever you want it to be, this isn’t an exhaustive list).
For LGBTQIA+ couples, these elopements provide a quick, simple way to tie the not. This typically involves going down to your local courthouse and exchanging your vows in front of a few witnesses. This might be the entire event, or some couples might choose to do a fun activity or celebration afterward.
Outdoor or nature elopements are a personal favorite of mine. There are so many benefits to being outside, and if you add saying “I do” on top of that, it makes for the perfect experience. This might look like hiking to the top of a mountain or exchanging vows at the beach, in a forest, or at your favorite city garden.
Listen: The Scientific Benefits of Eloping Outdoors
Adventure elopements can be indoors or outdoors and can also look like anything. It could mean packing your day with adrenaline-filled activities, or it could also mean going for an easy stroll, renting a canoe, gazing at the stars by a fire, playing board games or video games, reading at your favorite cafe, or going to the local brewery. The point of an adventure elopement is to create an itinerary full of your idea of adventure.
Read more: Adventure Elopement Activity Ideas
Eco-friendly elopements are all about being intentional with how you move through space so that future generations can enjoy the same natural beauty for years to come. Sustainable elopements can also look like anything you want, except there’s more of an emphasis on preserving our environment. It can mean practicing Leave No Trace principles, wearing secondhand or ethically-made clothes, not using single-use plastics, opting for an eco-friendly mode of transportation, or supporting local businesses. Keep in mind that sustainable elopements don’t need to be all or nothing—even smaller, intentional choices can make a big difference.
Destination elopements usually involve tying the knot in a location that is meaningful and exciting for you—whether it’s a place you’ve been before or have always wanted to go. It can mean traveling to the next city over or across the entire ocean, it doesn’t matter how far away it is. This type of elopement can also be turned into an extended vacation or honeymoon if you wish!
Listen: Tips for LGBTQ+ Couples Traveling
For those who like the intimacy of elopements but still want fewer than 30 guests in attendance, a small venue elopement balances both of those needs. Sometimes referred to as micro weddings, small venue elopements usually involve booking a venue for a small number of guests. For example, it could be a lodge at a national park or your local cafe’s event space.
I could probably go on and on with reasons in favor of eloping. At the core of it all? The reason is that it’s all about you.
From a young age, we’re fed ideas about what weddings “should” look like—big guest lists, fancy venues, and traditions that don’t always feel authentic. For queer couples, there can be an added layer of expectation, as if a big wedding is necessary to validate our love for the world. But here’s the truth: Your love doesn’t need to be proven to anyone. Eloping removes that pressure, giving you the space to be fully present with your partner and focus on your commitment.
Big weddings often become more about managing family dynamics, keeping guests entertained, and making sure everything looks “just right.” Eloping brings the focus back to where it belongs: you and your partner. Whether it’s just the two of you or a handful of your closest loved ones, an elopement allows you to create an experience that reflects your relationship without the stress of putting on a performance.
Some people might see eloping as “less than” a traditional wedding, but that’s just outdated, lazy thinking. Your commitment to your partner is just as valid whether it happens in a courthouse, in a forest, or in your backyard with a few close friends. And what’s cooler than being able to say you made the day entirely unique and entirely yours?
Finding LGBTQIA+-affirming vendors can be challenging, especially in a more conservative area. The last thing you want is to wonder whether your venue, caterer, or DJ truly supports you. While eloping usually involves a photographer and maybe one or two other vendors, depending on your needs, this is far less stressful than trying to find a handful of queer-affirming vendors at the same time. And, since eloping is so flexible, if you’re in a smaller town, you can even travel to places where your favorite vendors are so you don’t have to feel stuck with a limited selection.
It’s a bit of a misconception that elopements are cheaper than weddings. While they absolutely can be less expensive than big weddings, the more accurate benefit here is that your budget can be way more flexible. So, while you still may need to spend money on things like a photographer, transportation, rings, and outfits, you can cut out all the big venue fees and reallocate that budget to other fun activities, like renting out a cabin, going canoeing, or going on a wine-tasting tour.
Now, don’t get me wrong—elopement planning still takes time (6 months to a year if you don’t want to rush), but planning traditional weddings can sometimes take even longer. With elopements, you’ll be less concerned with guest lists, seating charts, and coordinating vendors, which helps you dedicate your efforts to creating a timeline that actually works for you.
Since elopements can be whatever you want them to be, you have more freedom to be unique. This means planning a day that fits who you are and expressing yourself in a way that makes sense to you. There’s also a lot more freedom to do activities that make you feel alive, whether it’s cozying up with a good book after your ceremony, taking a stroll through the forest, having a picnic, or going on a hike.
As you know, the world feels very scary for us LGBTQIA+ folks. With increasing threats to our rights and existence, choosing an elopement can provide a safe, intentional way to celebrate your love. Instead of worrying about navigating uncomfortable family dynamics or potentially unwelcoming spaces, you can have a special day with just the two of you that prioritizes your joy, safety, and well-being.
Read More: Why Eloping is a Good Idea for LGBTQ+ Couples
Before beginning your journey, it’s important to have an idea of general timelines. While it is possible to elope in less than 6 months, it’s a good idea to start planning 6 to 12 months in advance if you want a relatively less stressful experience. With that, let’s get to the steps for LGBTQIA+ elopements!
Read More: How to Elope Quickly (6 Months or Less)
I’m going to break this part into three steps. The point of the “dream and brainstorm” phase is to tune out external noise and really tap into your true elopement desires. If you want to incorporate traditional wedding elements in your elopement, do that! But, if you want something different, try your best to take a step away from those expecting voices (family or broader society) and listen to your true hopes and dreams.
Step 1: If you’re comfortable, I invite you to close your eyes. When you imagine getting married to the love of your life, what do you see? What’s the environment like? Who’s there? What do you hear? What are you feeling inside? Take note and jot down what you are both thinking and feeling individually.
Step 2: Get cozy and sit down together to talk about your visions. Consider questions like:
Step 3: Now, identify the ideas you find common ground with as well as your non-negotiables and flexibilities. After you’ve picked out some themes, you can begin getting inspiration. Try saving photos or ideas from online and create a mood board to really bring your visions to life.
Now that you have a starting point, the next thing is to pick a general location and date.
At this stage, I like to advise couples to pick a general location instead of a specific one right off the bat, just in case there are logistics to work out. So, go for general regions or vibes, like:
As your photographer, I can help you narrow your general location down to a specific spot, depending on logistics. For example, while it might be a cool idea to get married at the Grand Canyon, logistically speaking, this spot is going to be flooded with tourists. You don’t need to have an exact location in mind when you inquire with me—we’ll figure that out together!
Just keep your general location in your back pocket, and we’ll explore the specificities later!
As you do research about your dream locations, it’s important to remember to prioritize your safety. Again, our world is a scary place right now, so it’s more crucial than ever to be intentional about your search online for queer-friendly areas. Here are things to keep in mind:
Based on the Movement Advancement Project’s Equality Map by State, here are some of the states with the best protections in place for LGBTQIA+ folks:
Remember, while good policy is usually a reflection of the general social attitude, it doesn’t mean hatred and discrimination don’t exist there day-to-day. On the flip side, while some states are known to be conservative, we can still try to find a safe pocket for you to celebrate your love, especially if you don’t have the means to travel outside of your state (it just might require a little bit more research and vigilance).
Read more: How to Find LGBTQ+-Friendly Elopement Locations
Having a date in mind from the beginning makes booking things and planning activities a little bit easier. Think about the season and weather conditions you’d want at your elopement. Keep in mind that some regions have different climates and peak seasons!
As a pro tip, weekday elopements tend to be cheaper and a bit easier to plan because you’re avoiding peak rates and touristy traffic.
A budget is important for any big event like this as it will help you understand how much you need to save and how much money you have to allocate to each aspect of your elopement. Here are some things to remember:
Read more: How to Create an Elopement Budget
Many vendors will accept bookings months to a full year in advance (and many reach their capacity very quickly). This step is at the beginning of the checklist so you can secure your spot with your favorite people ahead of time. Some vendors you might want to consider include a photographer, videographer, officiant, or a hair and makeup artist.
It’s also important to make sure that the people you book are truly LGBTQIA+-affirming. Here’s how you can go about doing that:
Side note: The process of finding vendors can feel tiring, especially if you have a few uncomfortable encounters. During this time, don’t forget to take care of yourself, take a break, and come back when you’re feeling rested. I know it can feel challenging at times, but I promise there are so many queer-friendly vendors out there who are excited to work with you!
Read more: Elopement Vendors: What to Look For
Remember that general location you kept in your back pocket in step 2? Now we can do something with that. Speaking from my personal way of doing things, when you book with me, you don’t have to choose a specific location right away. You can fill out my form with “out West” or “somewhere in a forest,” and we’ll go from there.
If we decide we’re a good fit for each other after our consultation, we can scout out your ideal location within your chosen area and vibe. This stage will take into account logistics such as permits, accessibility, crowds, and weather. This is also the time we’ll decide on some backup locations that give similar vibes in case of unexpected situations.
You may require written permission or permits to legally elope at your location. The purpose behind these permits is to ensure safe, appropriate practices and use of the space to protect the environment and the people in the area.
As a general rule, I always assume a permit is required unless explicitly stated by the location. These permits can include:
Keep in mind that some permits require an application fee and can take months to process, so it should be at the top of your list of things to do.
Now for more logistics—where you’ll stay, how you’ll get there, and how you’ll get around once you arrive. The sooner you book, the better, especially if you’re eloping in a popular destination or during peak season!
For accommodations, consider the vibe you want to set for your experience. This could include secluded cabins and Airbnbs, boutique hotels, glamping spots, or any other unique spot you come across. Your accommodation can also serve as a good backup elopement location, so you might want to choose something aesthetically pleasing. If you aren’t eloping far away and plan on traveling from home on the big day, you can skip looking for lodging!
Pro Tip 1: Make sure your accommodation is within a reasonable distance of your elopement ceremony location. Unless you want to do a lengthy commute before you get married, I recommend choosing a place nearby so you can get to your spot at the right time!
Pro Tip 2: If you book an Airbnb, Vrbo, or other rental property, make sure the owner or host allows events to avoid getting in trouble.
Pro Tip 3: Use Hopper or Skyscanner for the best deals (for accommodations and flights).
Don’t forget to factor in local transportation, especially if you’re flying in. This can include renting a car, taking taxis or Uber, or taking public transport. Make sure you also have a plan to get from your lodging to your elopement location and vice versa, especially if it’s a remote or hard-to-reach spot.
When booking lodging, you want a space where you and your partner feel safe. Here are some tips to help you pick the best spots:
Read more: How to Plan an Airbnb or Vrbo Elopement
One of the best things about eloping is that you get to decide exactly who gets to be there, whether it’s just you two or a small number of your closest loved ones. You can even decide to elope with just the two of you and have a celebration with your family and friends later!
Regardless of the plan, if you are deciding to involve others in some capacity, now would be a great time to invite them. Make sure you give them plenty of notice so they can plan their schedules accordingly.
The reality for many of us queer folks is that we don’t all have supporting family and friends, which can make elopement planning feel a little heavy. If this is your reality, this step in the process might bring up a lot of feelings—and that’s okay. Take your time, take care of yourself, lean into each other, and know that everything will be okay.
As someone who doesn’t have a supportive family myself, I want you to know that I see you, and I’m with you. Know that your family does not need to be part of your elopement, full stop. You have full permission to exclude them, set boundaries, protect your peace, and celebrate with your chosen family instead.
Read more: Do You Have to Invite Guests to Your Elopement?
Generally speaking:
If you want to make your marriage legal on the same day you elope, you’ll need to get a marriage license before the ceremony. Depending on where you are, the steps can differ. However, in most cases, making your marriage legal requires two witnesses and a licensed officiant present at the ceremony to sign your marriage license.
Some states, like Colorado, Illinois, Pennsylvania, and Montana, allow for self-solemnization (getting legally married and submitting the paperwork without needing someone else present at the time). Other states, like California, Maine, and Wisconsin, require a religious exemption before self-solemnization is allowed.
If you don’t want to make your marriage legal on the same day you elope, you can go through the paperwork process before or after the big day.
If you plan on making your marriage legal before, during, or after your elopement, you’ll typically have to go through a certain paperwork process, which can differ by state. Here are some general steps and considerations:
For state-specific information, visit your state government’s website for up-to-date procedures and required documentation. You can also contact the local county clerk’s office for more information.
As of 2025, same-sex marriage remains legal across the United States, following the Supreme Court’s 2015 decision (Obergefell v. Hodges). Despite federal legalization, some states still have constitutional amendments and statutes that ban same-sex marriage. Thankfully, these bans are currently unenforceable due to the Obergefell v. Hodges decision.
However, recent political shifts have introduced challenges. Some states, influenced by conservative movements, are pushing back against LGBTQIA+ rights. If Obergefell v. Hodges were to be reconsidered at the federal level, the ability for LGBTQIA+ folks to marry could fall to the states that still have these bans in place.
The following states currently don’t have any statutes or amendment bans, meaning our right to marry is protected at the state level (should the Obergefell decision be revisited):
Globally, the recognition of same-sex marriages varies. While many countries have embraced marriage equality, others have not. Before choosing an international elopement destination, research its legal stance on LGBTQIA+ unions. The Human Rights Campaign provides resources detailing marriage equality worldwide.
Read More: LGBTQ+ Elopement Legal Considerations
Now we can get to the fun stuff. After sorting out logistics and legalities, you can decide on what you want to do during your elopement. While some people will choose to pack their day with fun activities, others will take a more chill route. Either way, here are a few ideas:
Keep in mind that some activities may need to be booked ahead of time, so don’t wait too long!
We’re almost there, I swear! Now, it’s time to start piecing together the details of your day. While creating a timeline will help everything flow smoothly, remember that elopements are meant to be flexible. So, make sure you allow time to soak it all in, have a snack, and enjoy the experience rather than rushing from one thing to the next. When planning your itinerary, also think about key moments like getting ready, travel, photography, meals, and downtime. Every elopement timeline is going to look wildly different, but here’s an example of what it could look like:
6:00 AM – Start the day slow with a cup of coffee and a sunrise view
8:00 AM – Breakfast together or with any guests joining you
10:00 AM – “Getting ready” photography shoot (together or separately)
12:30 PM – First look
1:00 PM – Travel to your ceremony spot
1:30 PM – Hike or explore your way to the location
2:30 PM – Exchange vows and have your ceremony
3:30 PM – Couple and group photos (if you have guests)
4:00 PM – Take a breather—snack, toast, or just be present
5:00 PM – Travel to the next photo destination (if you have guests, they can go home)
5:30-7:30 PM – Couple portraits and sunset watching
8:30 PM – Celebratory dinner at your Airbnb or favorite local spot
9:00 PM – Bonfire, drinks, and winding down together
Pro Tip: Always plan for more time than you think you need. This gives you a bit of a cushion in case anything unexpected happens. And remember, this isn’t an all-day photoshoot—there’s plenty of time in here for me to hang back and just let you two be!
Once you have a solid vision for your elopement day, you can start thinking about your dream outfits (if you haven’t been thinking about it already). Here are a few things to keep in mind:
And don’t forget about the little details! Whether you’re exchanging traditional rings, wearing a family heirloom, getting matching tattoos, or skipping symbolism altogether, do what feels right for you. At the end of the day, the only “rules” are the ones you make.
The best way to stay organized for your peace of mind is to create a packing list! Here’s one you can follow and modify based on your own plans:
Without bringing down the mood too much, it’s important to remember that even if you have an elaborate elopement plan, unexpected things can still happen related to:
When coming up with a backup plan, consider your chosen elopement location and the challenges it might pose. Here are some tips to keep in mind:
If you need to resort to a backup plan, make sure you keep lines of communication open with vendors. Everyone involved in your elopement should be aware of the next steps to take.
Pro Tip: As your photographer, I can help you create a plan B. So, if you’re not sure how to create one that makes sense, don’t be shy to lean on me for that advice!
Read more: How to Make a Backup Plan for Your Elopement
One thing a lot of couples like to do is have their elopement day just to themselves and then celebrate with their favorite people afterward, whether it’s that same evening or a few days, weeks, or months later. The possibilities are really endless when it comes to having a celebration. Some location ideas for post-elopement receptions include:
Your post-elopement celebration also doesn’t have to include other people at all. You can plan celebratory activities with just you and your partner—a road trip, spa day, sunset watching, a fancy meal, you name it!
Read more: Post-Elopement Activity Ideas
As someone who has been doing this for a while, I have many tips and tricks up my sleeve. If you ever need advice during the elopement planning process, I’m happy to share what I know! For now, here are some of my top tips:
You might’ve read through this LGBTQ+ elopement guide and started to feel super overwhelmed (that’s okay). While my hope is to help make this process smoother for you, it’s totally understandable if there are still moments of stress. So, I want to remind you to take care of yourself. Whether it’s during your actual elopement day or at some point during the planning phase, try to:
One thing that can make your elopement day that much more special is planning intentional moments. Take time to look at each other, soak in your environment, or do something special that makes you feel close to each other. To be more present and grounded, you can even turn off your phones or schedule time alone without photographers, guests, or vendors.
No matter where you go, try to remember the principles of Leave No Trace. Preserving the natural environment around us is not only essential for the health of our planet, but it also ensures that future generations get to enjoy the same unforgettable experiences as you. Some practices include but aren’t limited to respecting wildlife, leaving everything the way you found it, and disposing of waste properly.
Read more: Leave No Trace Guide for Elopements
Lighting can make or break your elopement photos, so timing is everything. If you’re dreaming of that soft, golden morning light for your vows, keep in mind that your backdrop will play a huge role. The way the light hits a mountaintop will be completely different from how it filters through a forest or reflects off a lakeshore.
If you’re set on saying your vows at sunrise in a high-elevation spot, get ready for an early wake-up call and a pre-dawn hike—totally worth it for those dreamy, glowing photos (just don’t forget the coffee!).
During your photos, whether it’s a cozy getting-ready moment or an epic sunset shoot, my biggest tip is to stay connected. The most natural, intimate photos happen when you’re interacting with each other rather than worrying about the camera. If you’re soaking in the view, reach for your partner’s hand. If you’re facing each other, wrap an arm around their waist instead of letting your hands dangle awkwardly. These little connection points make your photos feel real.
Read more: Should You Elope a Sunrise or Sunset?
Traveling as an LGBTQIA+ couple can be an incredible experience, especially if it’s for your elopement. But let’s be real—safety is something to consider, especially when heading to unfamiliar places. While some destinations are super welcoming, others might not be as safe or affirming. Before traveling, make sure you:
Also, try your best to trust your gut and each other. At the end of the day, the most important thing is to feel safe and enjoy your elopement experience. Stay aware of your surroundings, communicate with each other, and trust your instincts. If something feels unsafe, talk about it and decide what steps need to be taken from there.
And that’s a wrap! Eloping is really all about creating the perfect day that feels right for you. No societal compromises, no expectations, just an experience that reflects your love in a way that makes you happy.
While eloping is super exciting, I also want to acknowledge that, as queer folks in 2025, getting married might come with a bit of a sense of urgency. While our right to marry is still protected under federal legislation, I know many of us feel very angry, scared, sad, and upset about the current state of our world. If eloping comes with some of these feelings, know this: Your love is, and always will be, valid. Your marriage is real. And you deserve a celebration that feels safe, joyful, and deeply meaningful.
Despite all of this, I also want you to know that we can still find ways to make your elopement magical and filled with love, adventure, and joy. So, if you’re ready to take the next step, I’d love to help you document every moment of it—reach out to book your consultation with me!
Here are all the resources I mentioned in this article, plus some extras:
Everywhere is Queer Map (Global)
Gay and Lesbian Weddings (US and UK)
Equally Wed (Global)
Wandering Weddings (Global) – note: refine your search by clicking “support diversity” → “LGBTQ+ owned”
Travel Gay (Global)
Gay Travel (Global)
Gaybnb Travel (Global)
World Rainbow Hotels (Global)
Lambda Legal (US-Wide)
Advocates for Trans Equality (A4TE) ID Document Center (US-Wide)
SAGE – Advocacy and Services for LGBTQ+ Elders (US-Wide)
Outfront Minnesota’s LGBTQ+-Friendly Attorneys (Minnesota)
Family Tree Clinic – Legal Help for Queer and Trans People (Minnesota)
PFLAG’s Executive Orders Explainers (US)
Movement Advancement Project’s Equality Map (US)
Movement Advancement Project’s Marriage Recognition Laws (US)
ACLU’s Anti-LGBTQ+ Bill Tracker (US)
GLAAD News (US + Global)