To me, one of the most beautiful things about life is seeing how hearts can connect in the most extraordinary ways. As a wedding and elopement photographer, I’m lucky to witness this magic unfold before my eyes. Elopements are where grand adventures and intimate moments collide, making for a celebration like no other. If you want to honor your love through eloping, you’ve come to the right place! I made this guide for you. This comprehensive article teaches you how to elope step by step, answers some frequently asked questions and offers the best tips and tricks to help you have the seamless and low-stress experience you deserve.
When you search for the definition of “elope,” the first thing that pops up is “running away secretly to get married.” This traditional understanding is losing traction in our world today — and it’s for the better!
The truth is, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all definition because, today, elopements can be whatever the heck you want them to be. At its core, elopement is all about embracing the freedom to celebrate your love in a way that genuinely reflects your unique identity and story. It’s a chance to bypass the stress and expectations that often come with large weddings and instead focus on what truly matters: your love and commitment. Generally speaking, elopements are known to be more intimate, often having fewer than 30 people at the ceremony or no guests at all.
Eloping offers many incredible benefits if you’re looking to tie the knot on your own terms. These advantages include:
If these eloping benefits strike a chord with you, it might be time to discuss these possibilities with your partner. Whether you’re both on the same page about how you want to honor your commitment to each other or still need to find a middle ground, starting these conversations early can ensure that when it’s time to plan, you’re in alignment — it’ll make the celebration that much more seamless!
Since eloping can carry many different meanings, here are some common types to give you some context of what yours can look like:
If you seek simplicity and efficiency, courthouse eloping provides a quick and fuss-free option. Here, you exchange your vows at a local courthouse, often with a few witnesses, friends or family present.
My personal favorite! Nature lovers and romantics alike are drawn to outdoor elopements because of the breathtaking backdrops that add to the entire experience. Picture saying “I do” amidst stunning landscapes like lush gardens, majestic forests, scenic mountaintops, or pristine beaches. Outdoor elopements offer the opportunity to be present in nature and with your partner — the perfect recipe for the perfect day.
Outdoor elopements can be adventure elopements if you want them to be. Keep in mind that “adventure” has many meanings. Whether you desire a thrilling escapade on a remote island, want to take a hot air balloon ride, or simply engage in everyday activities that make you happy, the thing that defines this type of elopement is your perspective of adventure. In other words, if your idea of adventure is getting up early to go to your favorite cafe and then taking a stroll in the forest before you exchange your vows, that’s just as much an adventure as hiking up a mountain!
For those who want the perfect blend of intimacy while still having a dedicated space, a small venue elopement may be the ideal choice for you. Small venue elopements are sometimes called micro weddings and usually have fewer than 30 guests. The idea is to allow you to have a booked venue for a select number of guests while creating the perfect atmosphere to focus solely on your love. In many cases, you can even have these elopements close to nature. For example, some national parks, like Glacier National Park, have lodges or small venues to accommodate your celebration.
No matter which type of elopement you choose, remember that the most important thing is to ensure it reflects your personalities, preferences, and the unique bond you share as a couple.
As I mentioned above, one of the benefits of eloping is that it saves time. While elopements can fall into place much faster than traditional weddings, it’s still a good idea to plan things 5 to 12 months in advance. I’ve laid everything out step-by-step to help you through this exciting journey. The earlier you start, the less pressure and stress you’ll feel!
I invite you to close your eyes for a moment. When you imagine standing with the love of your life, looking deep into their eyes, and exchanging your vows, what do you see? Who’s there? What’s the environment like? What noises do you hear? What are you feeling inside? Start by doing this exercise individually to tap into your unique thoughts.
Then, get cozy, grab your favorite drink, and sit down with your partner with a pen and paper to explore your visions and brainstorm. Consider the following questions:
Once you have jotted down ideas, identify your non-negotiables, flexibilities, and common desires. After you’ve picked out some themes, you can begin getting inspiration and creating a mood board. Save photos or ideas that speak to you, whether you see them online, in a magazine, or from other couples.
Pro Tip:
When answering these questions, the key is to free yourself from any outside noise that may skew your understanding of marriage celebrations. If you want to incorporate traditional elements into your elopement, do that! But, if you wish to do something different and more unique to your identity, try to step back from what people around you (close family or broader society) say and tune into your genuine hopes and dreams. This may take some time to channel — and that’s okay! By getting the cogs turning early, you can take the time to really explore how you feel and bounce these ideas off of each other.
Now that you’ve dreamt your wildest elopement dreams, it’s time to pick a date and general location! Start by researching potential regions or vibes that fit your visions. These can include:
At this stage, it’s essential to focus on a general region or area instead of anywhere too specific. As your photographer, I can help you narrow it down to a particular spot, depending on logistics. For example, it’s a fun idea to want to get married at the Grand Canyon; however, logistically, this spot is less than ideal because of the constant crowds. So, you don’t need to have an exact location picked out to inquire with me — we’ll figure it out together!
Think about the season and weather conditions that would enhance your elopement experience. Are you drawn to the vibrant colors of spring, the warm golden hues of autumn, or the snow landscapes of winter? Keep in mind that some regions may have different climates and peak seasons, so consider whether you prefer a quieter time or don’t mind sharing the space with other visitors.
To finalize your date, consider your own availability and preferences. As a general pointer, weekday elopements can be cheaper and easier to plan, which many couples find appealing, but the decision ultimately depends on your priorities. Once you feel everything aligns with your schedule, it’s time to mark the big day in your calendar!
The reality is that there are still many places out there that are less than accepting of 2SLGBTQ+ identities. As you research your dream locations, remember that your safety is also a priority. Your elopement day deserves to be full of happiness without the worry of feeling judged or getting into uncomfortable confrontations. Search for known queer-friendly spaces, or reach out to people you trust who may have information on the general attitudes in your desired region.
As an LGBTQ+ elopement photographer, I also have some insights on safe spaces and locations and will be happy to share these with you!
Pro Tip:
Keep your general region in your back pocket. When you book your elopement package with me, we’ll narrow that area down to a specific location (step five).
While eloping can be a cost-effective option compared to big traditional weddings, planning and establishing a budget is still important. This will help you better understand how much you might need to save and how much money you can dedicate to your priorities. Here are some tips for planning your elopement budget:
This step is near the beginning of my elopement checklist because vendors often book months to a full year in advance. So, securing your spot ahead of time is essential to ensure a seamless and stress-free experience. While elopements often require fewer vendors than weddings, here are some you might consider to enhance your day:
It’s essential to take your time researching and finding the perfect vendors. These individuals will be part of your special day and can make or break the experience. Research is especially vital for 2SLGBTQ+ folks. After all, we only want to work with people who accept and celebrate us for who we are. Queer vendors can provide the space you need to genuinely enjoy your day without worrying about judgment or misunderstanding. To find the perfect vendors:
Pro Tip:
The process of finding queer-friendly vendors can be a challenging one (but not always). Some vendors are still stuck in the traditions of marriage and may still hold heteronormative assumptions that, let’s be honest, won’t make you feel good. If you find the search challenging or overwhelming, remember that it’s okay to take a breath and step away for a moment. Bad or awkward encounters can be exhausting — I get it! Keep in mind that a few bad apples don’t represent the entire pool. I promise queer-friendly individuals do exist, and we’re more than excited to meet you, work with you, and make your day everything you dream of.
As I mentioned in step two, when you book with me as your photographer, you don’t need to have a specific location chosen. You can literally fill out my form with “somewhere out West” or “somewhere in the mountains,” and we’ll go from there. After we’ve decided we’re the right fit for each other, we can scout your ideal location within your chosen area. In this stage, we’ll consider logistics like permits, accessibility, and crowds. Here, you can lean on my expertise to help you decide where to tie the knot.
We’ll also decide on some backup locations in case of unexpected hiccups. I’ll talk more about backup plans in a later section.
Depending on the chosen elopement location, you may need to get permits or written permission to legally and responsibly hold your ceremony. The last thing you want is to be kicked out of a place because you don’t have the proper paperwork. Elopement permits exist to ensure appropriate practices and use of the space, which protects others and preserves the environment. This is where the principles of Leave No Trace come in handy — I will speak more about this in a later section.
As a rule of thumb, I always assume permits are necessary unless explicitly stated by the location. There are different kinds of permits you may need to obtain. For example:
Researching permits for your chosen location is essential, as policies may vary from place to place. Keep in mind that there may be an application fee, and it can take months to process and approve, so this should be a top priority in your elopement planning journey. As your photographer, I’m happy to walk you through the permit stage if it all feels too overwhelming!
If you want to stay in a super cute place that matches your vibe for the day, keep in mind that the best accommodation spots often book up the fastest! With that said, it’s important to take a moment to do your research and consider the following:
This is also the time to consider how you’ll get to your elopement location. If you’re traveling a long distance from home, you’ll need to book flights, rental cars, or other forms of transportation. To find the best deals, use travel apps like Hopper or Skyscanner.
One of the best things about elopements is that you have the choice to invite guests or have an intimate ceremony with just the two of you. Here are some things to remember:
Pro Tip:
For many of us queer folks, the reality is that some people in our lives may not happily celebrate our relationships and identities, whether it’s parents, close family members, or friends. I can, unfortunately, speak from experience. If this is also your situation, it’s okay if it feels painful. If you need time to sit with your thoughts and feelings, take all the time you need while planning your elopement. Take care of yourself, and remember that you’re cherished — by your partner, your accepting friends and families, and anyone else who comes along for the ride (like me!).
This step is highly dependent on your intentions and preferences as a couple. Here’s what to do in different scenarios:
Now we’re getting into the fun stuff! After handling the more complex logistics, you can decide what to do during your elopement to make it unforgettable. There are so many different directions you can take this. Here are just a few ideas:
This day is all about you, so let yourself run wild with your dreams and come together as a couple to decide which elopement activities will make the experience the most memorable. Once you’ve narrowed down your list, you’ll get a better idea of how to structure your day. Keep in mind that depending on what you choose to do, you may need to book activities ahead of time, and some may cost more than others.
If you’ve reached this point, give yourself a massive pat on the back! Now you can begin planning your exact timeline for the big day. Some key things to budget for when creating your itinerary are photography sessions, travel, nourishment, and relaxation time. There are millions of ways you can structure your elopement. Here’s one example:
Pro Tip:
Always plan for more time than you think you need. This allows you to have a cushion in your schedule in case something unexpected pops up or you simply want to pause and breathe in the moment. At the end of the day, it’s better to have extra time than feel rushed!
Once you have a solid idea of how your elopement day will look, you can bring your attire dreams to life. The secret to feeling good is putting together an outfit that reflects your personal style. I won’t even attempt to provide specific outfit ideas — you’re all beautifully unique in your own ways. Instead, here are some general tips to keep in mind:
During this step of the planning process, it would also be a good idea to decide how you’d like to symbolize your commitment. This can include traditional rings or alternatives like tattoos, family heirlooms, or other symbolic tokens. Or, if all the symbolism stuff isn’t for you, do what feels most comfortable for you and your partner!
For peace of mind, the best way to stay organized and prepared for the big day is to create a packing list. Here’s an eloping packing list that you can modify based on your unique needs:
Just because you’ve chosen to elope doesn’t mean you have to forgo an after-party. Traditional weddings often include a reception, and elopements can too—thanks to their flexibility.
A reception after your elopement can be a great way to celebrate with a larger group of friends and family, especially if they weren’t present at the ceremony. It allows you to share your joy and make lasting memories—and keep the party going! Here are some venue options and spaces to consider for your elopement reception:
The nice thing is that you can tailor elopement receptions to your specific preferences and can even host them weeks or months after your big day to give you some time to relax. And keep in mind that having a reception after your elopement is entirely optional—so if it’s not your vibe, don’t do it!
While you may have meticulously planned your elopement, it’s important to remember that things can happen. A backup plan ensures that your special day can still be beautiful and memorable, regardless of unexpected hiccups. Here’s how you can plan for potential challenges:
As a photographer who has done countless elopement sessions, I have some tips and tricks that might help enhance your experience from start to finish. Here are my top recommendations:
If you’ve reached this point in my guide, you might see how elopement planning can be an absolute whirlwind of different emotions. While my intention is to help make the process easier, there may still be overwhelming moments — and that’s understandable! Amidst all the joy, anticipation, and other feelings, remember to take care of yourself. After all, you deserve to feel like your best self during this exciting time.
Whether it’s during your elopement day or sometime during the planning process, make sure you:
This magical journey is all about celebrating your love and connection, so make the most of it by planning special moments on your elopement day. Take the time to look at each other, breathe in your surroundings, or do something that makes you feel closer.
During this day, you can even turn off your phones to be more present. Feel free to schedule some time alone with each other without photographers, vendors, or guests. Do whatever makes you feel grounded with each other!
If your elopement has you venturing into the beauty of the outdoors, remember the principles of Leave No Trace. Preserving landscapes and protecting the environment is essential for the health of our planet and for future generations to enjoy the same unforgettable experiences as you. Some practices you should follow include:
During your elopement day, you might feel like you forgot something or didn’t think parts all the way through. But that’s why we did all this planning ahead of time, so we can feel as ready as we can be! Once you get to your big day, it’s important to embrace the flow of things and try not to second guess yourselves. Worrying at this point won’t drastically change the outcome of the day. If there is a bump in the road, try your best to stay present. We can find a workaround in most cases!
When capturing the best lighting for the perfect photos, timing is essential. If you’re craving that soft, early morning light for your vows, the backdrop plays a huge role. The way the light hits will be different on top of a mountain compared to at the foot of it or in a pass. If you want to be on a mountaintop, be prepared to wake up early and start hiking in the dark — that’s how we’ll make those magical dreams come true! Just be sure you’re up for it, and pack plenty of coffee.
During your shoots, whether it’s a getting ready or sunset shoot, my biggest tip to you as a couple is to stay connected in some way at all times. For example, if you’re looking at the beautiful view, can you hold hands or rest a head on a shoulder? If you’re facing each other, could your arms softly grasp each other instead of letting them hang at your side? Taking advantage of any connection point that feels right to you makes the experience less “posed,” more carefree, and ultimately, more natural-looking.
Here are just a few examples of the amazing eloping couples I’ve worked with. While I’m sure you’ll have your own unique spin on things, these can act as points of inspiration!
And just like that, you know how to elope! Whether you’re curious about eloping or are already knee-deep in the planning process, give yourself a massive high five — this was a lot of information to take in. I created this comprehensive guide because I wanted you to have a step-by-step process that would make planning feel simpler and less daunting. If you feel even slightly at ease, I’ll say I did my job!
If you’re looking for a photographer to join you on this journey, I’d be honored to come along for the ride. When you book your elopement package with me, you’re signing up for more than stunning photography — I can also help guide you through the entire planning process. Whether you need queer-friendly location recommendations, advice about structuring your day, or photoshoot preparation tips, I’m here to help you embrace the perfect day of love and celebration. Ready to get started? Reach out to me today — I can’t wait to hear your story!
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