One of the coolest perks of working in the queer wedding space is connecting with so many vendors who share my passion for the LGBTQ+ community. I talk a lot about how, unfortunately, as queer folks, we may run into some challenges when enlisting the help of professionals simply because of who we’re marrying and how we present or identify. But the opposite is also true: There are so many wedding vendors out there who are either queer themselves or actively recognize the importance of representation. 

This week in my podcast, Queerly Beloved, I got to chat with Angie (she/her/he/him), the head DJ for The Little Wedding Co. She’s also known under the artist name “The Insomniac.” Angie has been a music fan all her life, and her career sprung from her love for sharing these beautiful tunes with the people around her. She has some excellent advice for LGBTQ+ couples planning their wedding, and I’m so excited to share it with you all.

Jump to: How DJs Create A Safe Space | Choosing Gender-Neutral First Dance Songs | Alternatives to Parent Dances | Finding the Perfect Vendors

The Role of a DJ at a Wedding

Picture this: As you step onto the dance floor, surrounded by all the meaningful people in your life, the melody that vibrates through the room fills you with love — love for your partner, love for your friends and family, and love for life at that moment. The right songs have the power to transport you to a place where time slows down, and all that matters is the here and now.

At its core, a wedding is a reflection of love, identity, and a unique story of the couple continuing their life journey together. It’s a symphony of emotions, full of laughter, tears, and unrestricted joy. Amidst all of this beauty, the DJ ultimately stands as the conductor, effortlessly (or so we think) orchestrating the atmosphere, setting the mood, and creating the soundtrack to a love story in motion.

DJs are more than just playlist curators — they’re trusted professionals and friends who take the time to learn about your unique tastes, preferences, and musical inspirations. This provides you with a personalized, more memorable wedding experience. On top of that, DJs, like other vendors, are responsible for creating safe spaces where everyone feels seen, respected, and celebrated. With their expert touch, they can infuse the air with excitement and good vibes — an energy worth remembering long after your wedding.

A DJ’s Advice

To learn more about Angie’s take on weddings and how he builds strong connections with couples getting married, I asked these questions:

How Do You Create Safe Spaces for Your Clients?

For Angie, it’s all about respect. He takes the time to sit down with his clients before the wedding and ask questions. These include: What are your pronouns? And: How do you want to be announced?

“There are many non-gendered ways to refer to your guests and the couple,” says Angie. This vocabulary can include anything from “the couple” to “the newlyweds” to “honored guests.”

For Angie, the top priority is being aware of what clients need and want. “Yes, we’re there to provide music, but you’re also coordinating and directing the space and energy in there. Everybody’s going to flow off of what you’re doing, so your simple responsibility is to handle things joyfully and respectfully.” 

Additionally, when creating a safe space through music, Angie expresses the importance of reading the room and being in tune with the couple. “To keep the vibe going, I definitely ask couples what they want or don’t want, especially if something is sensitive or something makes them cry.” Taking this simple step to listen to the couple can make all the difference in elevating your wedding experience.

Any Advice For Couples Wanting Gender-Neutral First Dance Songs?

The bottom line is that your wedding day is your day. So, you should make your song choices based on what makes you, as a couple, happy.

As far as finding the perfect song that resonates with LGBTQ+ folks, Angie notes, “There are a lot of queer artists out there and more artists trying to be more gender-neutral.” If it takes some time to dig, that’s okay. Again, what matters is that it’s meaningful to you. Here are some of Angie’s recommendations for LGBTQ+-friendly wedding songs:

• Stay With You by John Legend
• At Last by Etta James
• Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
• Say You Won’t Let Go by James Arther
• Tender Love by Meshell Ndgeochello
• Love Song #1 by Meshell Ndegeochello
• Sent from Heaven by Rahsaan Patterson
• You by Jesse Powell
• Love Me Still by Chaka Khan
• Lake by the Ocean by Maxwell
• Latch (Acoustic) by Sam Smith
• Only You by Parson James
• I Choose You by Sara Bareilles

Do You Have Alternatives to Parent Dances?

One concern that frequently comes up for my queer couples is navigating the tradition of parent dances. For some folks, their parents coming to their wedding is not an option. For others, it simply may not be their vibe. Speaking from her experience as a DJ and the creative ways her couples have navigated this, Angie offers some alternative ideas that can make your wedding day memorable:

• You can choose to opt out of formal dances altogether.
• Do a whole family dance or dance with the kids.
• Do a choreographed dance.
• Dance with your grandparents.
• Private first dances.

“Create the memories you want for that day. If your parents aren’t or can’t be there, maneuver however you want. Make it beautiful. Make it special. And dance with whoever you want.”

If You Could Say Anything to Couples, What Would You Say?

“Bottom line, it’s your day. There are a lot more queer-friendly, open vendors who will be more than willing to respect you and cater to what you want. Take your time.”

It’s also important to remember that you have the power to make choices about the vendors you work with. If they feel good for you, roll with that. But, if you run into a few bad apples along the way, while it’s normal to feel discouraged, remember that, as Angie said, many people out there will celebrate your love with open arms. You’ll find them.

Making Your Day Special

Your wedding day will create lasting memories full of love, laughter, happiness, and all the other emotions under the sun. If you’re planning your big day and are looking for a DJ, check out Angie at The Little Wedding Co. If you’re also looking for someone to capture all your beautiful moments on camera or need a hand connecting with queer-friendly wedding vendors, reach out to me! I can’t wait to meet you and celebrate your love story with you.

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