Over the years, I’ve witnessed a lot of different ways to do weddings. As a queer photographer who has worked with both straight and LGBTQIA+ folks, I’m acutely aware of traditions in the wedding industry and how they help or limit couples on their big day. 

In my experience, some trends, habits, and practices are due for an upgrade. My hope and goal for 2024 and beyond? Make the wedding space more inclusive, accepting, curious, and open-minded. 

Here are things I’d like to see stop in 2024 weddings and some practices I’d like to see more of in the coming years.

1. Stop Focusing the Entire Wedding Industry on “Brides”

I see this one everywhere: Bride this. Bride that. The bride wants this and that. You get the idea. The wedding industry places the most significant emphasis on the word bride and all the traditions associated with that role, like the planning, the vision, and the high-stress wedding emotions. There are a few reasons why we need to stop placing this thinking at the center of the industry:

1. It’s inherently heteronormative: This way of thinking assumes there’s only one bride (and one man).
2. The word “bride” might not be your style: Whether you’re two grooms or people who don’t quite jive with the term bride, emphasizing this word makes the wedding space less inclusive of all the identities in this world.
3. It upholds stereotypes: When the industry focuses its marketing on brides, it usually only represents a specific kind of bride (i.e., white dress, hetero, feminine). Consequently, this excludes anyone from the narrative who connects with the word bride but doesn’t fit the stereotypical image.
4. It places people in boxes: I get it—our society loves categorizing people as a way to make sense of the world. But the reality is that people can’t be confined to one way of existing. Non-inclusive terminology makes it harder for folks to truly understand the endless possibilities regarding their love, celebration, and, let’s be honest, their lives and overall identities.

I also want to note that if you are a queer couple who likes to lean into these traditions, that’s completely okay. If it feels right for you, that’s all that matters. The point is that tradition can exist if it genuinely represents your love. But these traditions should not be the automatic assumption applied to everyone entering the wedding space.

So, how do we fix this? In the coming years, we must approach weddings with less assumptions and more open-mindedness. Every couple is different. Vendors, family members, and friends who want to show their support should bring more curiosity into their interactions with couples, ask questions, and, ultimately, let the lovebirds run their own show.

2. Stop Saying “Bride and Groom” When it Doesn’t Apply

I’ve been to several weddings where people, guests, and vendors will default to saying bride and groom. As you can imagine, this is usually no big deal when the couple does connect with those words. However, for folks who don’t fit into those boxes, this can be a very awkward experience at any point in their wedding journey, especially on their big day.

These slip-ups can happen to anyone—DJs, officiants, wedding planners, family members, you name it. To correct this, we need to do away with traditional scripts and templates and use more gender-neutral, inclusive language. Seeing open language more often will help our brains understand this as the new norm.

3. Stop Assuming How Couples Will Act, Present, or Dress

It’s easy to make assumptions about people based on first glance. Many people will take one look at a couple and say, “Yup, that’s a masculine person. Therefore, they will wear a suit.” Or, “Yup, that’s a feminine person. Therefore, they will wear a dress.”

Even if vendors have experience working with queer couples in particular, they’ll often still make assumptions about how they should act and dress based on the masculine-feminine binary. Let’s make one thing clear: Masculine and feminine energies are on a spectrum. They can exist together, they can have elements that exist separately, or they can just not exist at all—and this all depends on the person.

So, in 2024 and beyond, let’s shake things up a bit. Let the couple take charge of their big day, including when it comes to making decisions about what to wear and how to present. If you’re a vendor, support them and make the space for them to be who they are. Grooms can have makeup and hair done. Grooms can have bouquets. Masculine-presenting women can rock dresses. Folks can rock capes, colors, patterns, swords, crowns, and literally anything else under the sun if they want to.

It’s a beautiful experience when you learn to let go of assumptions and enter the world with genuine curiosity. 

Things I’d Like to See More Of in 2024 Weddings

It wouldn’t be right to leave you with a list of “don’ts” without a list of “do’s.” 

As couples and vendors, we all have the power to shape the future of the wedding industry:

• Couples: When you make a decision based on your genuine desires, you’re shaping the future. When you honor your identities and ignore the pressures of society and stereotypes, you’re paving the way for others to do the same. I know it can be easier said than done, but the more we do this, the more we can refocus the wedding narrative.
• Vendors: When you approach couples with genuine curiosity and open-mindedness and let them explore different avenues you’ve never seen before, you’re shaping the future. When you also go out of your way to learn new and creative ways to celebrate love, whether you attend events, connect with others in your niche, or follow more diverse voices on social media, you can also lead the way when it comes to making the wedding industry a more inclusive space. 

Here are some wedding ideas and practices I’d like to see become trends in 2024:

1. Breaking tradition in the smallest ways: You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. There are plenty of ways to practice alternative wedding traditions. For example, try desserts like s’mores or donuts instead of a white wedding cake. Instead of getting married on a Saturday, find time on a weekday. Tiny movements away from tradition like these can help others rethink the “norm.”
2. Use more of the word “couple” and gender-neutral language: Approach every new encounter with a couple with more inclusive language unless they explicitly show a preference for specific terminology.
3. Wear whatever colors you want: Sure, black and white are traditional (and if this is your vibe, go for it), but if other colors and fun patterns better represent you, do that instead!
4. Make bathrooms in venues and wedding spaces more inclusive: Whether it’s gender-neutral bathrooms, single stalls, or communal designs, this helps people of all identities feel more comfortable.
5. Small intimate weddings: There’s a lot of hype around big weddings. But, in the coming years, I’d like to see couples reflect on who is truly important to them, especially if that’s more of your vibe. You don’t need to invite your mom’s work friend and the work friend’s plus one. Smaller, more intimate weddings will help curate a safe, cozy space—and who doesn’t want to feel that on their big day of love?
6. Different name-changing practices: Normalize hyphenating names, combining last names in a new way, keeping your own last name, and men changing their name.
7. Sustainable weddings: Sustainability and inclusivity go hand-in-hand. Make more eco-conscious decisions with decor, what you serve, what materials you use, and how much waste your celebration produces.

The Way Forward

I want to make clear that wedding traditions are valid if you genuinely connect with them. But changing our thinking and language to make room for all kinds of love can help change the wedding industry: It’ll pave the way for more inclusivity while empowering couples to choose practices that feel important to them.

Ready for the journey forward? Whether you’re a couple planning your wedding or a vendor looking for new ways to change industry narratives, reach out to me! I love having these discussions and can’t wait to see how we can all work together to make the future more inviting for all love.