How to Create Unique LGBTQ+ Elopement Ceremony Scripts

One of the best parts of eloping is that your ceremony doesn’t have to follow a traditional wedding script unless you actually want it to. You can keep familiar pieces, like vows, rings, and a pronouncement, or rewrite and rearrange the script entirely. 

In this guide, I’m sharing different LGBTQIA+ elopement ceremony orders, inclusive and affirming officiant wording, unique ritual ideas, and script variations for different ceremony vibes.

TL;DR

• There is no single required order for an elopement ceremony
• Most ceremonies include vows, intent, rings, and a pronouncement
• Traditional gender roles can be changed, rewritten, or skipped completely
• Your officiant should use your actual names, pronouns, and relationship terms

What Happens During an Elopement Ceremony?

If you’ve never planned an elopement or wedding ceremony before, it can be surprisingly hard to picture what actually happens once you get to the “standing in front of each other and getting married” part.

A typical ceremony can look something like this:

1. Entrance or processional
2. Welcome
3. Officiant remarks or relationship story
4. Reading or ceremony ritual
5. Declaration of intent
6. Personal vows
7. Ring exchange
8. Pronouncement
9. Kiss or celebration
10. Recessional

Think of this as a starting point and not a rule book. You can move pieces, rearrange them, combine them, or add something completely different.

You could read your vows first thing in the morning and complete the legal ceremony later. You could walk into your ceremony together. You could skip rings. Your ceremony can be five minutes long or twenty-five.

The important thing is making sure you understand the legal requirements wherever you’re getting married. Marriage laws can vary depending on the state, county, province, territory, or country, and some places have specific requirements around declarations, officiants, witnesses, or paperwork.

Read More: LGBTQ+ Elopements: Legal Considerations

Ceremony Stages: Quick Overview

Ceremony Part	What Happens	Required?
Processional	You enter the ceremony space	No
Welcome	Officiant welcomes you/everyone	No
Story or reading	Something meaningful is shared	No
Declaration of intent	The “I do” portion	Depends on the location
Personal vows	You make promises to each other	Usually not legally required
Ring exchange	You exchange rings	No
Unity ritual	Handfasting, letters, etc.	No
Pronouncement	Officiant declares you married	Depends on the location
Kiss	You celebrate	No
Recessional	You leave together	No

Do You Actually Need an Elopement Officiant?

In many places, you’ll need an officiant to legally marry you—but you usually have options for who that person is. Depending on the local rules, that could be a religious or civil officiant, a professional wedding officiant, or a friend or family member who meets the legal requirements to perform marriages where you’re getting married.

Some places, like Colorado, may allow self-solemnization, meaning you can legally marry without an officiant. You can also choose to have a completely private symbolic ceremony without an officiant and take care of the legal marriage separately.

Before writing your ceremony, check the current marriage requirements for your exact location so you know whether an officiant is required and, if so, who is legally allowed to fill that role.

Choosing and Working With Your Officiant

If you’re working with an officiant, their job is usually to guide the ceremony from one moment to the next. They might welcome everyone, share part of your relationship story, introduce your vows or rituals, lead the declaration of intent, and pronounce you married.

Before the ceremony, make sure they know your names, pronouns, and the relationship language you actually want to use, whether that’s spouse, partner, newlywed, wife, husband, or something else. It’s also worth asking these questions:

• Can we review the entire ceremony script beforehand?
• Can we add/remove religious or spiritual language?
• How much of our relationship story will you share?
• Can we rewrite traditional ceremony language?
• Have you officiated  LGBTQ+ weddings, and are you LGBTQ+-affirming?
• What parts of the ceremony are legally required?
• Will you help us understand the marriage license process?
• Can our guests participate?
• Will you step aside during our vows or first kiss?

The last one is my photographer brain talking. If you’re having a photographer document your ceremony, your officiant does not need to be directly between your heads in every photo. During longer vows, I love when the officiant shifts slightly to the side and gives you space.

Friendly Reminder: Your Ceremony Doesn’t Need a “Bride” and  “Groom” Role

In my opinion, a gender-neutral ceremony script and an LGBTQIA+-affirming ceremony script aren’t automatically the same thing. Sometimes a traditional ceremony gets labeled as “inclusive” because someone replaced bride and groom with Partner A and Partner B.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good start, but the structure of these “gender-neutral scripts” tends to still be built around traditional gender roles. For example:

• One person waits at the front while the other walks down the aisle
• One partner is “given away”
• One person is asked the declaration of intent first
• Someone is told to “kiss the bride”
• One partner is treated like the person doing something while the other is treated like the person receiving it

So, for my LGBTQIA+ couples, instead of asking, “Which one of us takes which role?” Try asking, “What actually feels like us?” Maybe:

• You both enter the elopement space together
• You don’t want any relationship titles used during the ceremony at all
• Both of you want to be called wives or husbands
• You love the sound of partners or spouses

LGBTQIA+ Elopement Ceremony Order Ideas

The order of your elopement ceremony can be anything you want it to be, but for those of you who don’t want to start with a blank canvas, here are a few ceremony structures you can use as a starting point, depending on the experience you want:

1. Short and Sweet Elopement Ceremony

Best for: Couples who want the ceremony to feel meaningful without turning it into a big production.

Order:

1. Welcome
2. Declaration of intent
3. Personal vows
4. Ring exchange
5. Pronouncement
6. Kiss or celebration

Your officiant can say a few words, you can exchange your promises, and then you’re married. No twenty-minute speech required. If you’re self-solemnizing, you can use the same structure without the officiant.

2. Just-the-Two-of-You Ceremony

Best for: Couples planning a private elopement

Order:

1. Arrive together
2. Take a quiet moment
3. Read letters or exchange vows
4. Exchange rings
5. Complete a ritual
6. Celebrate

If you’re getting married somewhere that allows self-solemnization, you may not need an officiant at all. Even when an officiant is legally required, your most emotional moments don’t necessarily have to happen in front of them.

For example, you could exchange personal vows privately at sunrise and meet your officiant later for the legal portion.

3. Ceremony With a Few Guests

Best for: Elopements with a handful of people you love.

Order:

1. Entrance
2. Welcome
3. Acknowledgement of your guests
4. Short relationship story or reading
5. Declaration of intent
6. Personal vows
7. Ring exchange
8. Pronouncement
9. Group celebration

You can even get your guests involved if that’s your vibe. For example, you could ask someone to read a poem or letter, hold your rings, join in a community vow, or hand you champagne immediately afterward.

4. Completely Nontraditional Ceremony

Best for: Couples who don’t particularly care whether their ceremony looks like a traditional wedding ceremony.

Possible order (among many):

1. Private vows at sunrise + photography session
2. Adventure together
3. Exchange rings somewhere meaningful
4. Read letters from loved ones
5. Meet your officiant later if needed
6. Complete the legal ceremony
7. Celebrate

Now, let’s get into the different variations within the ceremony stages (and remember, many of these are totally optional).

Ceremony Entrance

The processional is the first part of many traditional wedding ceremonies, but there are so many ways to rewrite it (or you can skip it completely). You can:

• Walk yourselves there: You are adults voluntarily getting married. You can just walk to the ceremony spot.
• Enter together: You can arrive at your ceremony spot together and walk the final stretch side by side.
• Walk with a loved one: Each of you can walk with a loved one, friend, or whoever is special in your life.
• Enter from opposite directions: If the elopement spot allows, you can walk toward each other and meet somewhere in the middle.
• Meet halfway: One person walks part of the way and stops. The other walks toward them. Then, you meet and continue together.
• Skip completely: Maybe you’re already standing together looking at the view when the ceremony begins.

LGBTQIA+ Elopement Ceremony Opening Examples

Once you’re in place, the opening sets the tone for everything that follows. Here are a few directions your officiant can take:

Simple and Warm

“Welcome. Today we’re here to celebrate [Name] and [Name] as they choose each other in marriage. They have intentionally chosen this place, this day, and this moment to make promises to one another and begin this next part of their lives together.”

Personal and Romantic

“Today isn’t the beginning of [Name] and [Name]’s love story. They’ve already built a life full of memories, ordinary days, difficult moments, adventures, laughter, and countless choices to keep showing up for one another. Today is simply one more very important choice: choosing each other in marriage.”

Casual and Lighthearted

“We made it. Everyone got here, nobody fell off the trail, and most importantly, [Name] and [Name] are about to get married.”

How to Talk About Your Relationship

After the welcome, your officiant can talk a little more about the two of you. They may talk about:

• How you met
• Your first impressions of each other
• What you admire about one another
• A story that represents your relationship
• The way you support each other
• Something difficult you’ve navigated together
• Your shared sense of humor
• What you’re looking forward to
• The community or chosen family surrounding you
• The meaning of marriage to you as a queer couple

Often, officiants will send each of you separate questionnaires to fill out on your own. Then, they’ll read through your individual responses and turn them into a beautiful story.

Readings, Rituals, and Guest Participation

You can engage in all of these, some, or none at all. 

Ceremony Readings

A reading can be done by your officiant, one of you, or someone you love. It could be:

• A poem
• A spiritual passage
• A passage from a book
• Original writing
• A letter
• A meaningful quote
• Something written specifically for your ceremony

Spiritual Rituals

If spirituality is part of your relationship, you can include a ritual that reflects your values, beliefs, or connection to each other. That might look like lighting a candle, sharing a blessing, pausing for meditation or prayer, exchanging meaningful objects, or incorporating another practice that feels personal to you.

You can also include traditions from your culture, faith, family, or community if they genuinely belong in your story.

Handfasting

Handfasting is a historic tradition that has been adapted into many modern wedding ceremonies. A cord, ribbon, or piece of fabric is wrapped around your joined hands to symbolize your commitment to one another.

You can keep it simple or personalize the materials with something meaningful to your relationship, family, or heritage.

Ring Warming

A ring warming is an easy way to involve a small group of guests. Before you exchange your rings, they’re passed between the people you love, and each person holds them for a moment while offering a private wish, blessing, prayer, or intention for your marriage.

By the time the rings come back to you, they’ve quite literally been held by the community supporting you.

Exchange Letters

Write letters to each other and either read them during your ceremony or save them to open later. You could open them on your first anniversary or another meaningful date.

Create a Time Capsule

Add letters, photos, a bottle of something you love, ticket stubs, or little objects from this season of your lives. You can even get guests to participate!

Seal it during the ceremony and choose a future anniversary to open it.

Make a Drink Together

Make your favorite cocktail, coffee, tea, or mocktail together and toast your marriage.

Plant Something

This makes sense when you’re getting married somewhere you have permission to plant something—like your home—not in a protected natural area.

Read More: Sustainable Elopement Ideas

Declaration of Intent Examples

This is usually the part where there’s some version of:

“Do you take this person to be your spouse?”

And you answer:

“I do.”

Depending on where you’re getting married, this may be one of the legally important portions of your ceremony, so don’t casually cut it without checking your local requirements. 

Here are a few ways it could sound:

Officiant: “[Name], do you take [Name] to be your spouse, to love and support them, to share your life with them, and to continue choosing them through whatever your lives bring?”

You: “I do.”

(then the same is asked to the other person)

OR

Officiant: “[Name], do you choose [Name] as your partner in marriage, promising to grow alongside them, care for them, laugh with them, and keep building a life together?”

You: “I do.”

(then the same is asked to the other person)

OR

Officiant: “[Name], do you choose [Name]?”

You: “I do.”

(then the same is asked to the other person)

OR

Officiant: “[Name], do you choose to marry [Name] today and continue building your lives together?”

You: “I do”

(then the same is asked to the other person)

LGBTQIA+ Wedding Vow Options

This is where you can make deeper promises to each other beyond the declaration of intent. There are a few different ways you can approach vows:

Write Personal Vows

This is probably what most people picture when they think about elopement vows. You can write something separately and read it during the ceremony, or read the vows privately. You don’t owe everyone access to your most intimate promises just because they’re attending your wedding.

Your vows can include:

• What you love about your partner
• Stories about your relationship
• What you’ve learned from them
• What you’re promising
• What you hope your future looks like
• Something funny 

Read More: How to Write Your LGBTQ+ Wedding Vows (with Template)

Repeat-After-Me Vows

If the idea of writing your own vows makes you want to disappear in the nearest forest, repeat-after-me vows are a great option. 

Your officiant says a sentence, and you repeat it—it’s as simple as that!

Ring Exchange Wording

After vows, many couples exchange rings. Wedding rings aren’t legally required in most ceremonies, and neither is saying anything dramatic while you put them on. But if you’d like your officiant to introduce the ring exchange, here are a few options:

Simple

“These rings represent the promises you’ve made today and the life you’ll continue building together.”

Romantic

“A ring doesn’t create your commitment to one another. You’ve already done that yourselves. These rings simply give you something tangible to carry with you—a reminder of the promises you’ve made today and the person who made them with you.”

Lighthearted

“You already chose each other. You’ve already said the important stuff. Now you get some jewelry.”

No Spoken Ring Exchange

Your officiant can simply say, “Whenever you’re ready, you can exchange the rings.”

What Can Your Officiant Pronounce You?

Now you’re getting to the end. This is one of the easiest places to make your ceremony sound like you. Your officiant might pronounce you:

• Married
• Spouses
• Partners
• Partners for life
• Newlyweds
• Wives
• Husbands
• Simply by your names

Examples:

• “I now declare you married.”
• “I now pronounce you spouses for life.”
• “[Name] and [Name], you’re married!”
• “I now pronounce you husband and hot witchy wife!”

The Kiss/Celebration

Your officiant can say:

• “You can kiss now!”
• “You may celebrate!”
• “You two know what to do.”
• “Go ahead and kiss your spouse!”
• “You should kiss now”

Or they can say absolutely nothing—sometimes the pronouncement happens, everyone cheers, and you naturally kiss without being instructed.

And I also want to make clear: you do not have to kiss at all. Just do whatever feels natural to you to celebrate that you’re married!

The Recessional—Or Whatever Happens Next

Like everything in your ceremony, there are so many directions you could take this:

• Walk away together
• Hug your guests
• Pop champagne
• Turn around and watch the view
• Put on a song and dance
• Start hiking
• Stay exactly where you are for a minute.

In my opinion, the last one is so underrated. You just got married. Be present and soak it all in.

LGBTQ+ Elopement Ceremony Script FAQs

Ready to Create an Elopement that Feels Like You?

Your ceremony is only one part of your elopement day, but it deserves enough space to actually feel like a moment—not something squeezed between photos, driving, hiking, dinner reservations, and everything else you’ve planned. I love helping couples think through things like privacy for vows, the best light, where guests should stand, and extra time for emotions to happen.

If you’re looking for an elopement photographer who will help you create a day that feels supportive, intentional, and actually like the two of you, reach out to me. I’d love to hear what you’re planning!