Do You Have to Invite Family and Friends to Your Elopement?

Elopements

October 4, 2023

Last updated on November 1st, 2025

Whether you’re new here or have been hanging out in this space for a while, there’s one thing you should know about me: I love elopements. They’re intentional, freeing, and honestly just such a beautiful way to start your marriage (and I even got married this way myself!). But I also know there’s still a lot of confusion out there about what an elopement actually is. One of the questions I hear all the time is, “Does an elopement with guests still count as an elopement?” Another one I get is, “Do I even have to invite guests?”

I get it. Family and friends play big roles in our lives, and deciding whether to include them in your elopement can take some real thought (and sometimes some strong feelings come up along the way, too). I’ve helped a lot of couples navigate this exact decision, and I’ve even been there myself.

So in this article, I’ll walk you through how to approach inviting guests to your elopement—or choosing not to—and how to make sure whatever you decide feels right for you two.

Table of Contents

But First: A Pro Tip

Before I get into the different options, there’s one thing I want to make loud and clear: It’s entirely up to you if you decide to include people in your elopement celebration. If you choose to do so, make sure that every single person is 100% supportive of the plan and you as a couple. This space is all about your love. So, everyone entering it should come with open arms.

LGBTQIA+ couple at their elopement exchanging rings.
A spread of elopement accessories - shoes, vows, a lantern, a "we eloped" sign, and a Minnesota graphic in the middle.
Elopement ring exchange

Below, I’ve outlined the various scenarios to consider about inviting guests to your elopement:

1. Don’t Invite Friends or Family

One option is to keep your elopement just for the two of you. Of course, you’ll still need a few people if you’re making it official—like an officiant or witnesses—but beyond that, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to have family or friends there.

Why Elope Without Family or Friends?

There are a lot of perks to going solo. As a queer photographer who works mostly with LGBTQIA+ couples, I know how tricky it can sometimes be to get genuine support from loved ones (and that’s certainly the case for me with my relationship). If that resonates with you, eloping gives you the freedom to focus entirely on your relationship and tune out all the other voices.

Even if your friends and family are supportive, you might still crave an intimate space where it’s just the two of you. No stress about who to invite and who to leave off the list—just the people who really matter: the two of you.

Keeping it small also makes logistics a lot simpler. Want to hike to a hidden waterfall for your vows or travel somewhere remote? With fewer people to consider, your day can flow exactly how you want it.

How to Tell Family and Friends They Can’t Come to Your Elopement

Communication is key. Simply let them know your plan: you want an intimate ceremony to focus on each other rather than entertain a crowd. If they struggle to understand, sometimes showing photos from other elopements can help them see the magic and why it matters to you.

If you’re on good terms, giving them a heads-up before your elopement can be thoughtful. But if you’d rather surprise them (or you know they won’t react well), telling them afterward works just as fine.

Or, if you’re anything like me, you might just skip telling them entirely, since they wouldn’t have come anyway!

How to Tell Friends and Family that You Eloped

If you decide to hold the news until after your elopement, there are many elopement announcement ideas you can try:

  • Mail-out cards with highlight photos
  • Telling loved ones face-to-face
  • Inviting them to a post-elopement reception to celebrate. Here, you can put on a slideshow of your favorite photos from the day so it feels like they were there with you.

Read More: How to Announce Your Elopement

2. Invite Friends or Family

A couple getting married around friends and family.

If you’re thinking about inviting loved ones, you might be wondering, “How many people can you even have at an elopement?” Most elopements stay small (usually under 30 guests), which means you’ll need to be selective about who gets to share in your day.

Why Elope With Family or Friends?

Family and friends can make your elopement feel even more special. If there’s a tight group of people who truly mean a lot to you and your partner, including them can add an extra layer of magic to your day. There’s something really beautiful about celebrating your love with the people who matter most.

Who to Invite

Again, remember that elopements are meant to be small, with just the two of you or no more than 30 people. If you have a bigger circle you’d like to celebrate with, this might mean making some tough cuts. Hurt feelings can happen, and that’s normal. But what matters is being thoughtful and honest in your communication. If it fits your agenda, you can always invite others to a post-elopement celebration, after-party, or casual gathering so everyone gets a chance to share in your joy without compromising the intimate vibe of your ceremony.

Elopement Invitation Ideas

There are many creative ways to tell your loved ones they have an invite to your elopement. You can try classic mail-out cards, messages, or phone calls. Do whatever makes sense for your relationships—and make as big or small a deal of it as you want to! Here are some quick ideas:

  • Printed invitation cards
  • A private wedding/elopement/event website with schedule and location details
  • Voice memo invites
  • Text or email message templates, such as “We’re keeping this small, and we’d love to have you there.”

3. Don’t Invite Friends or Family, but Include Them in a Different Way

Couple celebrating with guests after their elopement.

This hybrid approach is ideal if you want the intimacy of an elopement but also hope to include family and friends in some way. The beauty of it is that there’s no one right way to do it. There are so many ways to make this option feel unique to you!

What it Can Look Like

You can include your friends and family in any part of your elopement. For example, you can reserve the actual ceremony for just you two, and include loved ones in various ways before or after, like:

  • Pre-elopement events.
  • Getting ready.
  • After-elopement dinners.
  • Post-elopement parties/receptions.
  • Split-day elopements: Dedicate part of the day with just you two and the rest with your friends and family.
  • Multi-day experiences: Spend a day with your partner and another day with your friends and family.
  • Have your family or friends help you choose your elopement outfit.
  • Bring a loved one as your officiant or witness.
  • Elopement first looks with your family or friends (makes for some stunning photos, too!).
  • Have your family welcome you back after you elope, whether you’re returning home, to a cabin, or a venue for celebration.
  • For your loved ones who can’t be there in person, have them send you a video or write you and your partner a letter.
  • Similarly, make time for a FaceTime or video chat after the ceremony for loved ones who can’t be there in person.
  • Share a first dance with a loved one.

Why Choose a Hybrid Option?

This approach really is the best of both worlds. If there are loved ones you want to include in your celebration but you still want that quiet, intimate time as a couple, the hybrid option gives you both. You get the privacy and focus on your relationship while also sharing your love and joy with the people who matter most. It’s a win-win, and I love that it can feel completely tailored to you.

How to Invite Family and Friends to Parts of Your Elopement

This is also an area where you can let your creativity shine. Some loved ones may feel hurt knowing they aren’t invited to your elopement ceremony. However, expressing that you still want them to celebrate with you in other ways can alleviate that. Consider sending out a message like:

“We are saying ‘I DO’ with just us two, but after, will you join us for a celebration and some laughter?” 

Not Sure About Inviting Guests? Ask Yourself These Questions

Couple eloping on the ice.

If you’re still on the fence about whether or not to invite people to your elopement, I encourage you to ask yourself these questions:

  1. Close your eyes and try to picture how you want your day to go. What do you feel? What do you see?
  2. Who, if anyone, will add to your elopement experience? Who can’t you imagine this special day without?
  3. Are they important to both you and your partner?
  4. Are you inviting them because you feel obligated to or because you genuinely want to?
  5. How close are you to these people?
  6. What is the maximum number of people you’ll allow at your elopement?

I always encourage couples to lean into their vision first—your elopement should feel like your day, not anyone else’s expectations.

Inviting Guests to Your Elopement FAQ

Yes! An elopement can absolutely include guests. Keep in mind that this usually means less than 30 people.
Most couples keep it between 0–30 guests, depending on the location and the experience they want to create.
Think about who genuinely supports your relationship, who adds to your joy, and who you’d feel comfortable being emotionally vulnerable around. It's not necessarily about the numbers, but about who will elevate your experience (not make it more stressful).
You can send printed or digital invites, create a private event page, send video invites, or keep it simple and personal with direct messages.
Not at all. But if it feels right, a celebration dinner, backyard gathering, or even a photo slideshow party can be a really meaningful way to share the experience after.
Yes, 100%. An elopement isn’t defined by having zero guests, it’s defined by the intention behind the day. Elopements are all about creating an intimate, meaningful experience that feels true to you as a couple. If having a handful of your favorite people there supports that intimacy, then having guests fits perfectly. Keep in mind that to classify as an elopement, we usually say under 30 people. On the other hand, if inviting guests adds pressure, expectations, or stress, it’s okay to keep it just the two of you. There’s no “correct” version here. Your elopement is still an elopement if it feels like you.

Leaning On Your Photographer for Advice

One thing I always tell couples is that choosing the right photographer matters so much for the experience of the day itself. Whether you’re having an elopement with guests or keeping it just the two of you, your photographer is there in every intimate, emotional, in-between moment.

As a queer, LGBTQIA+ elopement photographer, I’m here to support you through all of it—the planning, the navigating family dynamics, the “how many guests feels right?” conversations, the joyful moments, and the quiet ones. I’ve seen a lot of different versions of what an elopement can be, and I’d love to help you shape yours in a way that feels deeply true to you both.

If you’d like someone in your corner through this whole journey, I’d be honored to be that person. Reach out anytime! I genuinely can’t wait to learn your story and help bring your dream day to life.

Let’s Connect!
Reply...