Addressing Post-Election Concerns for LGBTQ+ Couples and Individuals
To my queer and trans friends and siblings… I wish I had better words to say other than I am utterly heartbroken at what has unfolded over the past week. Though many of us knew that Harris was far from perfect, we also knew that her in office would at the very least allow us to keep some semblance of normal. We also held hopes that she would be more open to changes and improvements than he who shall not be named…
It was not wrong of us to hope for this, but boy, did it make the blow hurt a little more.
Writing eloquently or saying the right words has never been my strongest suit, so I will keep this brief. I do want to say that as someone in the LGBTQIA2S+ community, I see you and I weep beside you. As a woman to other women and uterus-owners, I grieve with you and I rage with you. And as a person who tries (but often falls short and is still learning) to do right by our BIPOC, disable, refugee and many other communities, I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I’m ready to elevate your voices and support how I can.
I won’t keep this ramble going on, as I really just wanted to share a few brief resources, but it didn’t feel right to dive into information without acknowledging the hurt and anxiety we are all feeling at the moment, so please know I am here for all of you.
If I’m LGBTQ+, Should I Get Married Right Now?
The short answer is that there is no short answer…. and I can’t give you the right answer. If you were already planning on getting married in 2025 or 2026, there may be a benefit to signing papers early since it was already on the horizon. However, I understand there are other concerns with that, such as how it may affect student loans.
If you are not currently engaged or did not have plans to get married soon, please make sure you are having deep and meaningful conversations together and not rushing into something that isn’t the right time <3
We are so grateful that in Minnesota, our laws are written to protect “same sex” marriage, but that is unfortunately not the case for all other states. It’s important to check your how your specific state laws are written.
I spoke to an old friend, Hannah, who is now a practicing lawyer and has given me some very lovely resources and ideas that I wanted to share:
“You may want to consider creating or updating a health care directive, a will or trust, bank accounts, and next-of-kin information for life insurance. A health care directive can explain your wishes, assign someone as your health care agent to make any health care decisions if you are unable to, and makes sure certain people are able to visit you in the hospital. A health care agent is any adult and can be a trusted friend, partner, or family member. Without one, your parents will make decisions for you as your next of kin. In addition to health care, you can designate a partner or friend as your beneficiary for your property, bank accounts, and life insurance.”
Thank you, Hannah for explaining this. Hannah went on to share some helpful websites and resources I want to pass along:
- Queer/Trans Legal Clinic Appointment
- Trans/Queer Legal Clinic – Volunteer Lawyers Network: Providing 15-20 minutes of legal advice on name and gender marker changes, plus general legal advice and referrals. *Clinics are held on the 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month from 2:00 pm – 4:00 pm and the 3rd Saturday of the month from 11:00 am – 1:00 pm. Complete the form to set up an appointment.
- Outfront Minnesota – Minnesota’s Largest LGBTQ+ Advocacy Organization
- They have a list on their site of LGBTQ+ Friendly attorneys and break them down by category as well. Click HERE to view.
- Lamda Legal – “There is no one LGBTQ+ or HIV+ experience in America. That’s why Lambda Legal’s standard-shifting work in litigation, public policy, and education spans a range of issues that touch nearly every aspect of our lives.”
- SAGE – Advocacy and Services for LGBTQ+ Elders
Resources if you do want to get married now
1. The Little Weddings Co. MN
They are hosting an event on November 17th, 1 – 4PM with 15 minute time slots to sign papers and make things official. More info HERE.
2. Lumber Exchange Pride Ceremony Event
- January 4, 12:00PM
- Private Ceremony Space for 30 minutes or just marriage license signing
- Click HERE for event poster and more info.
3. Courthouse Wedding
The Minneapolis and St. Paul Courthouses are great options for getting in and having the paper work be taken care of quick and easy. You just need to find a date and judge available and bring two witnesses to sign.
Minneapolis – taken right from their website:
- Schedule a Marriage Ceremony
If you want to be married by a judge, please allow enough time to schedule your marriage ceremony with a judge’s clerk before your wedding date. Call the judge’s chambers to schedule your ceremony for this week or a date in the future. See the List of Judges Performing Marriage Ceremonies for contact information, or call (612) 322-6709 to hear a recorded message.
The Hennepin County District Court is committed to being a welcoming place, both within the court and in the communities we serve. As part of that commitment, you may see judges who are available for marriage ceremonies share personal information (e.g., languages they speak, faith traditions, LGBTQ+ identity, etc.) that is intended to serve as helpful information for couples as they are choosing a judge for their ceremony. In alignment with the court’s core values as well as with Minnesota law, all Hennepin County judges perform marriage ceremonies for same-sex couples, as well as for heterosexual couples.
If you need a special accommodation, such as a ceremony performed in a language other than English, please contact us with your request. - Get a Marriage License
Before your wedding ceremony, you must apply for a marriage license from a Minnesota county registrar, which includes the Hennepin County Service Center. A marriage license expires after six (6) months. For more information about how to apply for a marriage license in Hennepin County, call (612) 348-8240. - Day of the Marriage Ceremony
When you arrive for your marriage ceremony, you must bring a marriage license issued by any Minnesota county, a photo ID for each applicant, and two (2) adults with photo ID who can witness the ceremony. Judges’ staff may assist with providing witnesses at an additional charge. Please make this request at the time you schedule your ceremony.
St. Paul – taken right from their website:
- In Ramsey County, marriage licenses are issued by the Department of Vital Records.
- If you would like to arrange to be married by a Judge from the Second District, the following judges perform wedding ceremonies. All arrangements regarding date, time, place, and fees must be made with the Judge. If you leave a telephone message, be sure to include your phone number, date of marriage, and location of marriage.
- Courthouse: 15 W. Kellogg Blvd, St. Paul MN 55102
- JFJC (Juvenile Family Justice Center): 25 W 7th St, St. Paul MN 55102
4. HI! It’s ME! 🙂
I am a registered officiant in the state of Minnesota and am more than happy to sign papers for anyone who just needs someone to help with the papers and I’d be happy to snap a few photos at the same time as well. Please just reach out to me on Instagram or fill out my contact form! 🙂
That’s all for now folks. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but I wanted to try to stay ahead of things as possible and share the information I have right now and will try to continue to add or update this as I can.
Please know you are not alone, we are all in this together. If you need anything, please reach out to me on Instagram @wildlyconnectedphoto or email hello@wildlyconnectedphotography.com
With all the love, joy, and rage,
Anna
